Parenting does not come with a rulebook that guides you to raise perfectly self-sufficient and mentally stable children. It is a trial and error process that plays the biggest role in your child’s life. Most of our parents did not grow up discussing mental health as a normal conversation. Mental health concerns and resources are far more accessible and normalized now than they ever have been. But what is the difference between parenting and mental health problems? Are parents to blame if their child develops severe anxiety or depression? How can you prevent this from happening?

Here we will cover:

• What happens if parents have poor mental health
• Parents mental health support
• How children can be affected
• Practical ways to help

What Happens if Parents Have Poor Mental Health?

Parents or primary caregivers are likely the people most involved in a child’s life. This means if a parent has poor mental health, their child will absolutely be affected in some way or another.

Poor mental health could mean:

• Low self-esteem
• Lack of motivation
• Feeling sad or down
• Excessive fear or worry
• Excessive sleeping or insomnia
• Social isolation
• An inability to connect to others or the world we live in

Poor mental health can lead to severe anxiety, depression, untreated PTSD, or thoughts of self-harm or suicide. It can also lead to excessive alcohol or drug use. When parents have not been taught helping ways to cope with the stress and overwhelm life and parenthood brings, it can quickly turn into self-soothing through drugs or alcohol. This is problematic for nearly everyone involved in that person’s life, but especially their children.

As a parent, it is our main priority to ensure our children have their basic needs met. Are they fed, clean, hydrated, and supervised? But it is also our responsibility to make sure they feel loved, valued, adored, cared for, and important. So many of us grew up in emotional distant or physically distraught household environments. This can leave a child with years of emotional damage and greatly affect the way they show up in the world.

It was estimated that 10% of children ages 5-16 have a clinically diagnosed mental health problem and about 20% of adolescents may experience a mental health problem within any given year. But if parents work on healing themselves, and discussing mental health with their children, they can learn to support themselves in a healthy and fulfilling way to then teach this to their children.

Parent’s Mental Health Support

Seeking mental health support does not always come before the children and is an ongoing, never ending process. Therapy can be a helpful way to unload any personal baggage you may be carrying around. There are many different types of therapeutic modalities that can help you navigate and manage any sort of mental health problem.

Parents are often viewed as people who “have it all together.” Children look up to you, other parents may look up to you, and there is a lot of pressure to maintain that image. But parents need mental health support too. There are also tons of parenting support groups that may be able to connect you with other parents dealing with similar issues. The biggest thing to remember, is that while the healing work may be helping you better understand yourself, it is also helping the way you connect and show up for you child.

How Children can be Affected: Practical Ways to Help

When a parent or both parents are struggling with poor mental health, this becomes a risk factor for maltreatment. Parents who struggle with low self-esteem, lack of motivation, poor impulse control, antisocial behavior, high anxiety, or depression compromise their ability to properly care for their child. Children may be abused or neglected due to their parent or caregiver having untreated mental health issues. They may grow up with a lack of self-worth, trauma, feelings of being invisible or not important, or develop their own negative self-soothing practices such as substance abuse or self-harm.

If you are a parent dealing with mental health struggles, you are not alone. Parenting is one of the toughest roles you can take and while it may bring loads of joy and happiness, it can also bring up hardships and struggles. The good news is, there are practical ways to help yourself and your relationship with your child.

The most practical step you can take, is finding a local therapist that can help you understand and manage the symptoms of your mental health issues. There are plenty of therapist that accept insurances or offer a sliding scale-fee. There are also several online therapy services offered at a low cost. Therapy can be an intimidating and daunting experience, but it is available to help you let go of what has been holding you back and find self-soothing techniques to alleviate some of the discomfort caused by your poor mental health.

Other practical ways to help include:

• Exercise
• Mindfulness practices such as meditation or journaling
• Reading self-help books, specifically focused on the mental health issue you may be experiencing
• Breathwork exercises to help calm your nervous system
• Spending time with others
• Talking to a trusted friend about your struggles

Get Help

A child’s mental health is supported by their parents. Children learn from the environment they are living in. They can feel the energy within the room even before they are capable of expressing their thoughts or feelings. This is why it is so important for a parent to get help if they are struggling with poor mental health.

If you, or someone you know is struggling with alcohol or substance abuse, All American Detox Center is here for you. All American Detox Center provides clinical support to those who may be battling with an addiction. Please call (844) 570-1301 today to get the help you need and deserve.

Also Read: How to deal with depression and anxiety

Treatment Options for Drug & Alcohol Abuse at All American Detox

Are you finally ready to quit drugs and alcohol once and for all? All American Detox is a drug and alcohol treatment and rehab center in Los Angeles California. Our detox and residential inpatient programs can help you overcome substance abuse in comfort and with confidence. For more information, call us today at (844) 570-1301.

Citations

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). “Warning Signs and Symptoms.”

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Warning-Signs-and-Symptoms.

Mental Health Foundation. “Children and Young People Statistics.”

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/statistics/children-young-people-

statistics

Child Welfare Information Gateway. “Mental Health of Parents and Caregivers.”

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/can/factors/parentcaregiver/mentalhealth/#:~:text=A

%20parent%27s%20or%20caregiver%27s%20mental,these%20factors%20can%20comp

romise%20parenting.

BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services. “10 Tips to Booth Your Mental Health.”

http://www.bcmhsus.ca/about/news-stories/stories/10-tips-to-boost-your-mental-health Retreived October 4, 2018.

The impacts of addiction on children are complex and far reaching. During this crucial age, children need to feel safe and secure–they also require love, understanding and guidance. And because children are still developing, they also must rely on their guardians for material needs like food, water and shelter.

Creating such an environment fosters growth and empowers children preparing them for life’s challenges. A parent who grappling with alcoholism, on the other hand may be neglectful, abusive or dangerous.

Alcoholism is also a progressive disease that gets worse over time, and even if things are okay for now there is no such thing as a functional alcoholic.

If you or a loved one is struggling with alcohol addiction it is important to consider the impact that drinking could be having on your kids. While alcohol addiction can be a hard habit to kick, getting treatment as early as possible is the best way to minimize harm for the whole family

Read on to learn the 10 potential consequences children can face as a result of parental alcoholism.

Developmentally – In the Womb

Alcoholism can impact a child before they are even born, in utero. Alcohol enters the bloodstream, easily passing to the uterus where it is absorbed more slowly. In its vulnerable state, a fetus can endure permanent developmental changes to the body and brain.

Also Read: How to deal with depression and anxiety

1. Physical Development

• Facial deformities such as cleft lip or palate: a gap (or gaps) that form on the upper lip or roof of the mouth.¹
• Premature birth and low birthweight
• Hearing and vision loss
• Small head size
• Stunted height

2. Stunted Brain Development

The scanned brains of children with fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) reveal smaller brains as well as malformation in several areas of the brain. Other research found that prenatal poor communication between several parts of the brain.² Together, the developmental issues associated with prenatal alcohol results in cognitive issues that can persist into adulthood.

3. Problems With Learning and Attention³

• Memory problems
• Issues with motor control and coordination
• Speech impediments and problems with language development
• Trouble paying attention
• Poor critical thinking skills

4. Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS)

Drugs including alcohol, opioids, amphetamine, cocaine and can lead to what is called neonatal abstinence syndrome or NAS: a condition where a baby is born dependent to the drug that the mother was taking.⁴

NAS can cause a variety of withdrawal symptoms many of which may complicate the pregnancy putting the baby’s health and life at risk.

Disruption of Childhood Development

5. Neglect

In cases where child maltreatment has occurred, 40% involve alcohol and drug use. This amounts to around 480,000 kids annually.⁵

Child neglect is the failure of a parent or guardian to secure a child’s fundamental needs including:

• Physical Neglect: This includes securing material needs like clothing, food, shelter, or keeping them safe from harm.⁶
• Educational Neglect: Not enrolling their children in school or pulling them out too often are examples of emotional neglect.⁶
• Emotional Neglect: Ignoring, humiliating, or berating, intimidating the child or separating them from others.⁶
• Medical neglect: Not providing proper medical care for a child or refusing recommended and necessary care from a doctor.⁶

6. Physical Abuse 

Psychical child abuse is the second most reported form of child abuse next to neglect; it includes any physical injury intended to cause harm.

Common forms of child abuse include:

• Hitting or beating (either with bare hands, or an object like a belt or a stick)
• Using objects like a stove or a lighter to burn the skin
• Kicking
• Suffocation by strangulation of holding a child underwater (even temporarily)
• Restraining using rope or tape.⁷

Alcoholism is believed to contribute to child abuse for several reasons:

• Heavily alcohol use can impair areas of the brain responsible for self-control, giving rise to violent behavior against children.⁸
• Heavy alcohol abuse causes the abuser to miss social cues and mistakenly assume that family members are treating them with hostility or disrespect; it may also cause them to misjudge the severity of their actions.⁹
• Child abusers who are alcoholics are more likely to perpetrate violence if they can place the blame on alcohol instead of holding themselves accountable.⁹

7. Sexual Abuse

Among both boys and girls, alcohol was found to be a risk factor in child sexual abuse or CSA; it was also found to be more common in families where alcoholism is or had been present.9 For women, alcoholism is also a risk factor for developing alcohol and substance abuse problems later in life.¹⁰

8. Emotional Abuse

In many cases, the impact of emotional or verbal abuse are just as damaging as physical abuse. And like physical abuse can be exacerbated by alcohol misuse. Situations involving emotional abuse may include:

• Verbal bullying
• Yelling or screaming
• Putting down for the child making mistakes
• Isolating the child from friends or family
• Ignoring or refusing to speak to the child
• Gaslighting ­– invalidating an individual’s perception of reality; especially when it means denying the existence of physical or emotional abuse.

Alcoholism and child abuse can also occur in the other direction. In other words, children experiencing emotional and physical abuse are at risk of developing alcohol or substance abuse problems as adults.

9. Trauma and PTSD

The exposure of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse at the hands of a guardian or another adult are traumatic experiences. Trauma is also associated with the development of other mental illnesses like anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, Borderline Personality disorder and substance abuse disorder.¹²

10. Substance Misuse and Addiction

Trauma leaves lasting scars which if left unaddressed can follow a child into adolescence and adulthood. Without the skills to cope, it is likely that they will develop other methods, one of which is self-medicating using alcohol or other drugs.

Having substance abuse issues is also more common amongst those with at least one other mental illness; over 18% of those who struggle with mental illness also have a substance use disorder.13 Having a co-occurring disorder can also complicate the recovery process often requiring more intensive and engaging forms of substance abuse treatment.

Brief about Post-child abuse¹⁴

• 14% of children (1 in 7) experience neglect or abuse every year in the US.
• 33% of children (1 in 3) who enter the foster care do so as a result of parental drug and alcohol abuse.
• Child abuse is often thought of as just being intentional physical and emotional harm such as striking or bullying but it also includes neglect. Parents who fail to provide necessities like food, water, shelter, education, or medical care are also committing child abuse.
• Child abuse is traumatic; children who experience it may develop feelings of guilt or shame, reoccurring memories and maladaptive thinking. Without proper mental health services, they can go on to develop mental illnesses including substance abuse.

Treatment Options for Drug & Alcohol Abuse at All American Detox

Are you finally ready to quit drugs and alcohol once and for all? All American Detox is a drug and alcohol treatment and rehab center in Los Angeles California. Our detox and residential inpatient programs can help you overcome substance abuse in comfort and with confidence. For more information, call us today at (844) 570-1301.

Citations

NHS. (n.d.). Overview -Cleft lip and palate. NHS choices. Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cleft-lip-and-palate/

Gadye, L. (n.d.). What is fetal alcohol syndrome, and how does it affect the brain? BrainFacts.org. Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://www.brainfacts.org/diseases-and-disorders/childhood-disorders/2018/what-is-fetal-alcohol-syndrome,-and-how-does-it-affect-the-brain-082318

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021, December 14). Alcohol use during pregnancy. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fasd/alcohol-use.html

Default – Stanford Medicine Children’s health. Stanford Medicine Children’s Health – Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford. (n.d.). Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=neonatal-abstinence-syndrome-90-P02387

The relationship between parental alcohol and other drug problems and … (n.d.). Retrieved October 5, 2022, from http://preventchildabuse.org/images/docs/therelationshipbetweenparentalalcoholandotherdrugproblemsandchildmaltreatment.pdf

Neglect. NSPCC. (n.d.). Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/neglect/

U.S. National Library of Medicine. (n.d.). Child physical abuse: Medlineplus medical encyclopedia. MedlinePlus. Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001552.htm

Gouvernement du Canada. (2012, July 26). WHO Facts on Alcohol and Violence: Child maltreatment and alcohol. Canada.ca. Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence/prevention-resource-centre/children/who-facts-on-alcohol-violence-child-maltreatment-alcohol.html

Widom, C. S., & Hiller-Sturmhöfel, S. (n.d.). Alcohol abuse as a risk factor for and consequence of child abuse. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-1/52-57.htm

Martie L. Skinner, Allison N. Kristman-Valente, Todd I. Herrenkohl, Adult Binge Drinking: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Gender and the Role of Adolescent Alcohol-Related Experiences, Alcohol and Alcoholism, Volume 51, Issue 2, 1 March 2016, Pages 136–141, https://doi.org/10.1093/alcalc/agv093

Trauma. Mental Health Foundation. (n.d.). Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/trauma#:~:text=Trauma%20can%20make%20you%20more,difficulties%20in%20your%20daily%20life.

Russ, S. (2020, April 29). One in three children entered foster care in 2017 because of parental drug abuse. Child Trends. Retrieved October 4, 2022, from https://www.childtrends.org/blog/one-in-three-children-entered-foster-care-in-fy-2017-because-of-parental-drug-abuse